There are different reasons why couples get a divorce. It can be hard for couples to work through marital problems. They want to move past the conflicts and the lack of intimacy, but sometimes they can’t seem to move forward.
Even though sometimes there is one person to blame for the problems, it is sometimes unclear how to blame someone for the issues that aren’t being resolved. When there is a lack of communication and the couple is not able to get closer, they might realize that divorce is going to happen.
A person that is thinking about getting a divorce might wonder when they should leave their partner. It doesn’t matter how long you have been thinking about getting a divorce, this is still something that can be hard to move forward with. Many people have already decided to get a divorce long before they make the move.
Talking to a Therapist
A therapist should never tell a couple to get a divorce. There are different kinds of counseling that can help you to know if your issues could lead to divorce or not and when there aren’t any real changes, the relationship can never be healthy.
There is also discernment counseling which allows the therapist to see the problems in the relationship and gives them a chance to see if they think they are moving towards the idea of divorce. There are three different situations that can be reasons to file for a divorce including infidelity, abuse or addictive behavior (substance abuse).
These are situations that will sometimes cause couples to feel like they don’t have another choice but to leave the relationship. Couples therapy can help with this, but it is important to figure out what exactly to do.
Infidelity
Infidelity is a reason to get a divorce but a bigger reason is when it happens over and over again. When cheating happens once, it can be something that the couples can work through but when it becomes a pattern, this becomes a chronic issue.
The partner that is cheating might be unwilling to see that their behavior has become compulsive, and it might cause them to not get the support that is needed to work through things. This can even become a sexual addiction that they are facing.
Before going to couples therapy, it is important that the person that is cheating gets individual therapy. Their behavior is motivating them to do certain things, and this has to be addressed.
Addictive Behavior (Substance Abuse)
Another problem that could lead to divorce is substance abuse. When this happens, it can cause the relationship to not have the love that is needed. The one that is addicted is often using the substance in order to feel better about themselves or their life.
This can even sometimes be looked at as an affair with the addictive substance. This causes the relationship to not work. Couples that are dealing with addiction need to get certain treatment and help.
Abuse
Abuse that is emotional or physical is something that needs to have some kind of removal. It is time to leave your home and to get a divorce when you are facing domestic violence. There is a difference between being unhappy or fighting and actual abuse.
Emotional abuse can be looked at in therapy but it isn’t always able to be solved. You need to make sure that you are being honest with your therapist right away if you go in to talk to them about emotional abuse.
Leaving the Marriage
Some people wonder if they should leave the marriage or divorce after being together with their partner. When they fight or when their partner does something against them, it can be hard for the relationship to be able to be mended.
Once you decide that you want to lave your partner, you need to talk to someone such as a spiritual leader or a trusted family member or friend. This can help you to think things through clearly.
Couples that aren’t sure if they should divorce or not might need to get discernment counseling. This could help them to look at their own marriage to see if the marriage can be fixed or not.
Final Thoughts
People that take couples therapy can sometimes get the help that they need so that they don’t have to get divorced. Discernment counseling can help people decide if couples therapy can work or if divorce is really the only true option.
Therapists can help you to figure out if you can work your marriage out or if you should consider getting out of the relationship.
