Rebuilding trust in any relationship is hard once it has been broken. Depending on what happened, convincing your partner that you can trust them again or that you can be trusted might feel like it is impossible. The great news though, is its not impossible. Trust can be rebuilt if both people in the partnership are willing to put time in and work things out.
Any relationship that is healthy is built on trust. Depending on what happened to break the trust depends on what you will have to do to fix it. There is definitely a difference in feelings between a small lie and a physical or emotional affair. If your relationship has experienced an affair, you might need to get counseling from a trained professional.
Even though there is not a true guide on fixing a relationship that has been broken, there are some things that you can do to work in that direction.
Admit Your Role
If you have hurt your partner by breaking trust, you need to acknowledge it and make sure that you don’t cast blame on someone else. Make sure that you own up to what you did before you try to make your partner take ownership.
Many people have a hard time apologizing because they feel that it makes them vulnerable. Make sure that you are intentional with your apology. Have your thoughts ready and make sure you write down what you are thinking and what you want to say. Say it in front of the mirror and practice so that you can know and be strong to say what you need to say. Don’t say what you want your partner to hear so that you can hope you can be forgiven, and the problem can be forgotten. Things don’t work that way.
Pick a Time to Talk
Make sure that you are picking the right time to apologize. Ask your partner when they feel that you could talk to them and make sure that you let them know how important the conversation is to you. Make sure you have their full attention.
Accept You Made a Mistake
Once you have already owned up to what you did, make sure you accept responsibility for your actions. Make sure you are sincere in what you say and that you tell them you are sorry for letting them down and that you do love them. Make sure that you communicate how you want to fix things and make things better. Building trust is hard and you need to work hard to regain it.
After you say your side, make sure that you hear what your partner has to say. Make sure you are actively listening not just verbally but with your body language. Look in your partners eyes and don’t fold your arms or look defensive. Make sure that emotions can be on edge so stay calm and allow them to express their feelings too.
A genuine apology is important, but they are just words. Make sure that you do what you say you are going to do and that you commit yourself to be a good partner and to doing what is right by them. Always be kind and humble and always be loyal to them.
Forgiveness and trust take a long time to have and when it is broken, it can take even more time to be built back up. Make sure that you understand that you are responsible for what you did but be kind to yourself because everyone makes mistakes. Have patience and give your partner time to forgive you and for your relationship to get stronger.