Why does it seem like all the good ones are taken?! In this era of digital dating, it can be daunting to swipe or click through all the posts to find a quality person to date. Also, with the rise of technology it might seem like courting has been abandoned altogether. What happens when you want love, and not just a booty call?
Read on to discover eight ways you can reinvigorate your search for love:
- Realize you are great the way you are! This can be a bitter pill to swallow when you are constantly swiping through duds on Bumble. Think back to common threads that have been mentioned about you in previous relationships. How have you worked on addressing those issues in a way that makes you feel comfortable with the goals and your progress? Reevaluate what qualities make you feel important and valuable, as well as what you are looking for in your next relationship. Remember, you can only control yourself and not anyone else. However, when you focus on what is important to you, you will save precious time and heartache on your road to lasting love!
- Ease up on your expectations! No person is ever perfect. In fact, it’s those quirks that make a person special, unique and endearing to people. If you find someone you enjoy, don’t make assumptions and instead use it as an opportunity for additional great conversations. These conversations will be useful in helping you understand their particular viewpoints and making them feel like they are respected by you.
- Career success is vastly different that relationship success. Corporate culture can make people feel the need to be ego-driven and ruthless to get ahead. In relationships, you need to be softer, more vulnerable and more willing to compromise. As you grow in a career, you are often self-directed, whereas in a relationship you must work in concert with your romantic teammate. It’s can’t always be about you and your wishes. Instead you both must be willing to trade who gets to pick an event or priority and have frequent discussions to make sure both of your needs and goals are being met. Relationships are a test of tolerance, patience, strength, vulnerability and grace. But when you find the right partner you can be empowered to reach untold heights of personal success knowing you have a loving and responsible advocate in your corner.
- Being single gives you the opportunity to learn and grow within yourself! Sure, it might be tough to go to bed alone at night, but you also don’t have to deal with anyone’s dirty socks on the floor. Use this time alone to reaffirm how much you love and appreciate yourself. Pay attention to the opportunities to learn more about what matters to you personally and the personal goals you are setting for your future. When you are in a relationship you need to balance your needs with that of the other partner. Being single affords you time to reevaluate your values and priorities and cast off any old habits or preconceptions that no longer benefit you. When you truly know who you are and what is important to you, you will possess a confidence that will radiate outward. This will make you seem more attractive and sexier to potential suitors and encourage the right mate to enter your life.
- You deserve a partner who compliments your lifestyle and values. You don’t need anyone but yourself to “complete” you. Having a partner who has ambitions and values that align with yours will provide you a quicker way to achieve your personal goals as well as provide beneficial insights to help you grow and achieve success.
- Focus on what’s “real.” A relationship that is “real” means your partner is able to see you for who you truly are, warts and all. Instead of being scared off by your lesser qualities, they will see them as opportunities for you to grow both as individuals and as a couple. As you both feel more comfortable that your union has staying power, you both can let your guards down even further, which will allow you both to cheerleader and support each other’s ambitions.
- Be open to growth. Although you are seeking love, you may be chasing a dynamic that feels safe. When things become murkier and challenging you may inadvertently sabotage the relationship out of fear. Instead leaning into the unknown and potential, you push the person away in order to not get “hurt.” Your feelings are tender and authentic, but placing barriers or being overly protective just serves to shut people out and makes you feel more alone. Give your date the chance to do the right things and be loving or supportive towards you and be wowed by how both you and your dynamic can grow.
- Be willing to be vulnerable. Vulnerability and love are the ultimate power couple. A willingness to be honest with your thoughts, feelings and experiences with your partner allows them the opportunity to feel safe to reciprocate. This makes your relationship more real and authentic. Instead of building walls, you are building windows into each other’s soul. These windows allow you both to move forward on solid footing knowing that you can understand each other’s motives even without speaking.
Love can show up when you least expect it. Treasure this time alone and be thankful for the missteps along the way. They “failed” relationship have helped make you a better person and more sure of what is important to a creating a successful future. Be confident in who you are, know your worth and know what is important to you in life or your next partner. Although, it might not feel like it now, love will find you. If you are willing to change your mindset and release unhelpful expectations you can be more prepared to have a successful long-term love.