Absence can make the heart grow fonder but often doesn’t in many cases. Distance tends to allow people to forget commitments and they can drift out of a relationship as well as into another.
However, some couples find that being apart works for them and strengthens their love. A long-distant relationship isn’t what it used to be. As many of 75 percent of engaged couples state their relationship was one of long-distance at times. Today, there are many ways to communicate more intimately such as Skype, Zoom, gchat, Facetime, and text, so you don’t have to feel so alone in your world.
There are six ways a long-distance relationship can work:
Studies show that distance builds intimate relationships. That includes a Cornell University study in 2013 that discovered that long-distance couples idealized their partner more and tended to tell their partner more of what’s going on in their lives.
Experts said phone calls and other non-physical communication make a person more vulnerable because the conversations last longer than a face-to-face one would.
Those who are in a long-distance relationship are better communicators than the rest of us. They have to be. They have to schedule Skype calls and have razor-sharp communication skills to keep up the relationship. Scheduling calls and time talking becomes really important, particularly for those serving in the military who can’t call whenever they want. People in these relationships bust down all obstacles that challenge communication.
Those in these types of relationships are committed. You choose the relationship, so you are 100 percent in. This is not a relationship you fall into, but one you establish. Every time you put effort into it, you are recommitting yourself.
Time for You
This is one of the benefits of a long-distance relationship. There is plenty of time for yourself. That means you won’t ever feel stagnant. This gives you a chance to cultivate your individuality outside the relationship, according to Manhattan couples’ therapist Matt Lundquist.
Better Sex Life
Since you don’t see each other all the time, you are excited about sex when you do get together. It’s a given that it’s going to happen. You tend to appreciate each other more because you don’t see each other every day. That means both want it to be really good. Also, since sex isn’t an afterthought as it is in most marriages, you want to value the time together and not waste a second of it. That makes it steamy.
There is some research that marriage can contribute to emotional, physical, and even mental ailments. The Family Institute at Northwestern University did research that showed those married and living apart were less anxious, less depressed, ate healthier, and were more physically active than those who lived together. The Journal of Communication published a similar study in 2013. In that study, those in long-distance relationships were less anxious. That could be attributed to less fighting over trivial things. A SafeFood report indicated most eat smaller portions when they are alone. That could make for a healthier body.
The key to any relationship is to discuss how to make it work with your current lifestyle. Setting parameters and expectations will go a long way to creating a long-term committed relationship that withstands the miles.