Why People Sabotage Love
Relationships Advice

Why People Sabotage Love

Relationships will fail when people are and aren’t married and relationships do not always last. People want to have love, but they are fearful of both not finding love and having a love that ends. One of the reasons that love fails so often is because we often sabotage our love because we are afraid of what love will bring us or being let down.

There are some reasons why we sabotage love and many times it is something that we do not realize we are doing. Maybe you have something in your life that causes you to be a distancer or maybe you have been abandoned in your emotions and you have felt unloved for your whole life and you are afraid of being rejected. Another problem we feel is shame and this can cause love to not last.


When we feel shameful, we feel that we are not loved and that we are not worthy of having someone love us. We allow our mind to tell us things that are not true and it causes us to feel negative and to have beliefs that are false. We feel that we do not deserve good things and we are not able to accept love.


People often have low self-esteem, and this can cause a relationship to end fast. We feel that we are misjudged in all circumstances and that we are not good enough to have love. We feel that we are negative, and we are afraid of being rejected so we reject love before we can see where it goes.


Another problem with love is the feeling of guilt. Some people feel that they are guilty if they are in a good relationship or if they are close to others. This can lead to fear of rejection and being abandoned and cause us to not be honest in the relationship. We feel unworthy and we are not able to move forward with a good partner because we are not able to forgive our past actions.

Being Perfect

Another fail in a relationship is thinking things have to be perfect. We put ourselves on such as pedestal that we expect that we should be perfect, and we make standards that are unreachable for ourselves and others. This causes fear and anxiety and we feel insecure. We decide to focus on negative things, and we are not able to enjoy things in life that are good.

Perfection is not something we can reach, and we become a critic of ourselves and others and we are not able to take risks because we are afraid of failing. We learn to be hard on who we are, and we cause our relationships to fail.


Another problem is that we are afraid of not being real. We are afraid of showing who we are because people have often judged who we are and made us feel that we had to fake who we are. These situations cause us to be dishonest and does not allow us to trust who we are.


Those that compare themselves to others cause relationships to fail because they feel that they will never be as good as someone else. Even though each person is unique, one that is flawed has a hard time believing that being unique and different is okay.


People have a hard time trusting and when trust is a big issue it can lead to disappointment. Trust can lead to betrayal and so some people decide that they cannot trust anyone. They learn to expect everyone to be lying to them and they make it hard for others to love them.

People that have trust issues are not able to allow a relationship to be natural and they build up walls to keep people out.


When a person has no integrity, it is hard to be in a relationship. Sometimes this happens because they feel that they have been mistreated and abandoned and so they do what they can to allow themselves to live however they want without any real justification. They try to spare their relationship but the whole time they are breaking it down because they are living in a way that is not good or respectful.

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