No one wants to date a human piece of Velcro. From emotionally needy to becoming your partner’s shadow, being clingy is a sure-fire recipe for disaster. If you are worried that either you or your loved one is clingy, read on to discover ten ways to stop this draining behavior.
- Patience is a Virtue
It can be hard to wait for someone to text or call you back. But when you fixate on when you will hear from them it can become a serious problem. Instead of obsessively checking that your signal is strong enough, go out and live. Instead of waiting on that person, enjoy spending time on a favorite hobby or exercising or catching up with a loved one. Before you know it, your phone will alert to the fact the object of your affection is thinking about you.
- It’s Not the Worst-Case Scenario!
If someone is slow to contact you it’s not the end of the world. Try to dismiss the anxiety of waiting and unhelpful thoughts that might pop up in your mind. Life is unpredictable and if they are smitten with you, they will contact you when they have the appropriate amount of time to focus on you and the relationship.
- Don’t Get Upset When They Want Time Alone
To be a strong couple, both partners must be strong individuals. It’s healthy to spend time with just one’s friends or family. It can also be restorative to spend time by one’s self. Not being together all the time allows both partners to miss each other a little bit and will make the reunion that much sweeter.
- Don’t Pry
If you feel like you constantly have to interrogate your paramour, it’s a clear sign that you are clingy. When you pry you are placing immense pressure on your partner and in time, they will become resentful. Instead, ask open ended questions that highlight your sincere interest in their thoughts and well-being. By creating a culture of healthy curiosity, your partner will be more inclined to share and may even in turn show more interest in your life.
- Avoid Seeming like a Stalker
Don’t frequently happen to “stop by” one of your love’s go to places. This only create trouble for both you and them. When you constantly check in to their hang-outs you may creep out their acquaintances and create a negative reputation for someone you claim to care about. So, unless you are genuinely concerned for your date’s wellbeing only go to their places when invited.
- Don’t Fixate on Your Partner
You should never only spend time with one person. Although it’s natural, especially at the beginning of relationship, to focus your time on them you need to balance your social life. Enjoy swapping stories with your friends who might also be in new relationships. This will allow you to maintain your social support network in case of trying time like poor health or navigating the fall out from an argument. Also, by showing your partner you enjoy the occasional night out with the friends, they will feel secure in their ability to spend time solo with their friends or family.
- Be Yourself
You should have to feel compelled to change who you are or not enjoy your hobby just because you fell in love! If you don’t like to go out, but they enjoy a raucous dinner at the newest hotspot, it’s ok to not to go! Comprise is healthy in a relationship and neither of you should sacrifice your happiness. You both should feel comfortable having periodic check-ins to see if things in the relationship need tweaking.
By speaking up, and having time to enjoy your interests, you are able to reconnect over some fun stories. This will help you learn more about one another and build a solid foundation for a healthy relationship.
- Don’t Be a Tag Along
As we mentioned before, some space apart is healthy. Even if you are invited to join, if you don’t feel up to it or you feel the invitation was forced, you don’t have to go! If you show up uninvited to a gathering you could create major strain for your partner with their crew. It will also be a major red flag to your partner and possibly lead to your break-up
- Don’t Cyber Stalk!
When you frequently check out your lover’s social media post you can often discover things you don’t like. Also, repeated likes or reposts of either your partner’s page or of those they care about, can alert your partner to potential trust issues.
- Don’t Bad Mouth
Being clingy is a result of insecurity and jealousy. If you say something negative about someone in your partner’s life, you must be prepared to deal with the consequences. If you act resentful or overly harshly you will only force your partner to take sides. And if you are acting like a contemptuous brat, that side may not be yours! Don’t poison your relationship with judgmental statements. Instead, collect your thoughts and breathe through the impulses, to have a calm and rational conversation with your love. This can allow you to safely raise concerns and allow for proactive solutions that could ultimately both solve your problems and bring you closer as a couple.