There is eerie finality when you break up with your partner. You might have been considering this split for a while, or it might have happened suddenly. But suddenly the person you relied on, talked with daily, and snuggled with is now out of your life. This is profound loss that will resonate in ever cell of your body. No matter who initiated the breakup, there will be hurt and pain on both sides. This hurt is natural, so feel free to cry or prioritize self-care. Although it might feel like your world is shattering, the sun will eventually come out again.
You probably are feeling an array of emotions right now. Don’t worry if your feel angry. Certain experiences that you have faced can justify some of this anger. If you are concerned your anger may grow destructive, find creative and safe ways to let out the pressure from your body. Make sure you set firm boundaries for exploring these feelings so you don’t cause any collateral damage.
You may notice feelings of jealousy. This can be especially true if your ex initiated the breakup and seem to be rebounding faster. Try to limit your exposure to pictures of them either in your memory box or on social media. Focus on what you are doing to heal, and not what aspects of life they are sharing with others. If you don’t then the scab of your pain will continue to be picked at and thus prevent you from healing.
You might feel remorse, and regret. It’s natural to miss them, as you face substantial time with them and created vibrant memories together. These feelings won’t fade overnight. But thinking about the “remember when” or “if only” prevents you from creating the necessary closure to create a shift in relationship dynamic. Remember, you guys ended your romance for a reason. But with time and compassion you both can chart a new course of friendship together.
Every person heals in a unique way. There is no right or wrong way to process difficult times. You may feel overwhelmed at times. Other moments you could second guess the joy you may feel. Both experiences are natural. Take a breath, then take a step. If you feel like you are falling, pick yourself back up. Each step forward is helping you grow and heal. With time and patience, you will feel less hurt with each new sunrise. Even though you worry you might never find true love or happiness again, one tomorrow will bring you a wonderful new phase of life.
