There are times in some relationships when you may start thinking about ending it. There could be some things that lead up to this, such as an event, action, or comment. Sometimes, there isn’t anything dramatic. It could just be that it isn’t the same anymore or doesn’t appear to be going anywhere.
This type of situation could pose some conflict. No one wants to give up a relationship and many women gain a lot of security from the familiar. To make this type of a decision, you need to evaluate why you are feeling this way.
For this article, the advice is to deal solely with those who are in a non-marital relationship. Those who are married have a lot more to consider and need to be evaluated differently because they are more complicated.
There are probably two thoughts running through your head when you think about whether to stay or go. They are running opposite with each other and that is causing conflict and stress.
Here is why that is happening. You have a conscious mind that thinks practically. Outcomes and decisions from your conscious mind are based on what your physical senses are telling you. That means what you see, hear, feel, smell and touch are affecting your thoughts. The problem is that those things can be misinterpreted. For instance, you may see your guy helping a young woman carry her luggage into a hotel and that raises suspicions. The truth may be that is his sister you have never met.
Your conscious mind can work the other way. It can see that your guy works hard and is an overall good man to others and you rely on that to stay even if he doesn’t treat you well.
Everyone also has a subconscious mind. This can be called your gut, a feeling, a vibe, or a sixth sense. Unlike the conscious mind, your subconscious has no real evidence to rely on for these feelings but it is just something that nags you.
That doesn’t mean there isn’t anything to justify it. Your brain can easily pick up on both verbal and non-verbal cues that nestle into your subconscious without affecting your conscious mind at all. Science states these subtle cues are affecting us far more than those we physically see and understand.
What will help you make a decision is to understand why your subconscious is setting your decision a certain way, whether it is telling you to stay or go.
Below are four things to consider as you try to decipher your subconscious feelings:
- Determine if your feelings come from non-verbal cues that the guy either likes you or doesn’t like you. Hints that his feelings lean in a certain direction may be affecting your thought patterns.
- Find out if he is just scared of a relationship. Sometimes, women start feeling a sense of dread or foreboding around a man who is scared of a relationship. Our subconscious can pick up and mirror that of someone else. In this case, you may see signs he likes you, but then he pulls back. It could be something in his background but it could also be something in yours! He may be scared about something revealed about your family or perhaps he saw something on your social media page that he is questioning. This may involve a little digging to determine what has him holding back.
- He’s a bad match. There are times when your subconscious is trying to warn you that you are about to make a huge mistake. You love being in love and enjoy being with him, but it just doesn’t feel natural. Something is off. This could be a sign that he isn’t the one for you.
- You have baggage. There are moments when our past issues and mistakes come back to haunt us. They can creep up suddenly, unexpectedly, and affect us in dramatic ways. These types of things can affect how you feel both subconsciously but also consciously. Determine if any of these issues are affecting your feelings either way now. Remember, they can affect your desire to stay as much as your desire to go.
You will be better prepared to decide on this relationship once you have analyzed your motivations, feelings, and thoughts. If you aren’t ready for a relationship or if he is a bad match, it will be time to say goodbye. If you determine that your feelings are based on things like fear, then you may want to try to work through them to create a good relationship that will stand the test of time.