Undefined Relationships
Relationships Advice

Undefined Relationships

Are you in a confusing relationship such as a friendship with benefits or a relationship where you hang out, but it seems to be going nowhere?  Being in a relationship can be confusing and if you have a relationship that is not defined, it can cause you to be confused and wonder what is going on in your life.

If you have tried to define your relationship and never can get the conversation to ever work out, chances are you are trying to figure out what your own feelings are and decide if you should play it cool or if you should walk away. You hope deep inside that you will figure out what is going on in your life and know what the next move will be.

What if that day never comes? Chances are you will be heart broken and you will lose the self-confidence that took so long for you to build. Maybe you won’t even be able to recognize what you have become.

These types of relationships can cause you to feel broken hearted or to make you end up feeling like you are weird or crazy because you never really were with this person. You do not want to talk to your family or friends about “breaking up” with them because how do you break up with someone that you never were really with? Maybe you are upset because your situation is so strange and not even real.

We have all been in this situation where we spend a lot of time with someone, go through hard things and find comfort in this person only to find that you fall for them and never even know what they are feeling.

When you realize that you are in a relationship that is undefined, you will come to the point where you have to decide if you want to be with this person or if you should get out. Do they feel the same about you? The truth is, who even knows?

Here are some things you can do if you are in this kind of situation:


Most of these types of relationships never really have a true ending. You wonder what is happening in your life and you spend time wondering if you should just move forward on your own. You might choose to have closure, but you have a hard time moving forward from a relationship that never even was.


When you decide to move forward from this person, chances are you will feel pain that is unexplainable. You have no one you can talk to and you are afraid to tell people because your relationship was never even real.

You have no one you can vent to and you feel all alone. What you went through was real and if you learn from this, at least you will not repeat this in the future.


Being in a non-relationship relationship makes you see that you cannot handle the “what ifs.” You find yourself having deeper and deeper feelings and the only way that you can make things work out is to spend time apart.

The more you spend time apart, the more you can handle just staying friends with them. You can think through your feelings and realize how much you meant to them and what they really meant to you and if it is just friends and you need to walk away, do it.

Their Side

Of course, you will have a lot of feelings but maybe their feelings are hurt as well. Think about things form their side and figure out why you feel the way that you do.

The truth is, maybe they are afraid of what you are thinking and maybe they just do not feel the same. Maybe they are happy with just being friends. You may not be the only one that is confused.

Guarding Your Heart

When you let someone into your heart it leaves you feeling scared and vulnerable. This is something that causes you to have self-defense and to guard yourself. When you feel that you are living in a situation that can cause you hurt or pain, keep living.

Live your life even if it is full of regrets. The beautiful thing of life is that you can live it and you can move forward when things are not perfect.

Stick Up for You

Finding yourself in a sticky situation or in a non-relationship relationship, learn to stick up for yourself. Speak up for what you feel and do not be afraid to say what you want to say. If you feel that you are being hurt in the situation, tell someone.

If things do not turn out how you expected them to, know your worth and walk away.


Forgive yourself for falling in love and forgive them for not loving you the way that you wanted to be loved. It is easy to be stuck in a place of unforgiveness and when you do this, it is wrong.

It is not your fault that you had feelings just like it is not their fault that they didn’t. Whatever you have against this person, write it down and then throw it in the wind to carry it away or burn it in the fire.

Learn to keep being honest, caring, loving, brave, giving, and compassionate. Learn your lessons but be strong.

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